Knowing Your Purpose Won’t Change Your Life

Purpose is just the spark. You need to fan the fire.

Created on Midjourney

“Find the hill you're willing to die on.”

That prompt from Evan Meyer stayed with me.
He asked it during a workshop, trying to help us define our niche as content creators.

Before that, he’d had us list what we were passionate about.
My list was full of topics on the modern way of life — and how it disconnects us from ourselves. It was clear: I’m passionate about living a life aligned with my core, not society’s.

But when I got to the “hill” prompt, something didn’t sit right.
The fire I’d felt listing my passions didn’t fit neatly into “be willing to die for it.”
There was something off about willing — too passive, too measured.

That’s when I realized:
This isn’t just a passion. It’s an obsession.

I speak about it, write about it, spiral into it. It consumes me, and I welcome it. It feeds me. It energizes me.

This is something I want to dedicate my life to, not just something I’d be willing to die for, but something I’d be blessed to die for.

Only then did the prompt feel right.

“The hill you’d be blessed to die on.”

There’s something powerful in knowing what you’d give everything for.
Something that fills the void inside with meaning, with a burning fire.

But it wasn’t always like this.

Find your bliss.

For years, I’ve tried to find my bliss. You know, my thing, what I’m about, the topic that I could finally fit into the 150 characters of my IG bio.

I was so obsessed with finding it that I spent hundreds of hours trying to figure it out. I took courses and hired coaches and answered hundreds of prompts like:

• What are you passionate about?

• What did you love doing when you were a kid?

• What’s your Why?

• What makes you angry about this world?

Slowly but surely, I crystallized my passion: I’m passionate about guiding people to live lives aligned with their core selves.

I was stoked.

“I have my thing. I feel it in my bones. I get all fired up talking about it. It’s amazing!”

But then, why didn’t my life align to that high frequency? I was still freelancing for startups. I was still posting consensual content about “tips to help with anxiety” and relationships and whatever came to mind, and was still seeking approval in the handful of likes that content would get.

I had uncovered my thing, but my life didn’t move an inch.

That’s when I realized it’s nice to find your thing in life, but until you start acting on it, all it is is a nice Ven diagram.

I had found my fire, and I thought it was enough. I expected it to fuel the entire machine on its own.

But the fire within you needs YOU as much as you need it.

See, because of the programming most of us go through, hearing for decades that

“a career in art won’t pay the bills” and

“stop thinking you’re special” or

“the 9-5 is the safest way to live"

the inner fire that was once well and alive turns over time into embers.

We are born with this fire. Go back to childhood memories and you will find breadcrumbs leading you to your thing, your greater purpose, your Why.

But with the years of socialization, you lose touch with that fire, and it turns into embers.

It never dies completely, but for some of us, it’s nearly there.

And so, although discovering your inner fire feels exhilarating, it’s only the beginning of the journey.

That ember needs to be rekindled. You need to fan it, day in, day out, to bring it back to its glory.

Fan the fire.

And you do that by turning your passion (the ember) into an obsession (a wild fire).

The first time I heard about this mindset shift was through Tim Denning. And boy, is that guy obsessed. He calls himself a psycho, and that is very true.

I met Tim last year and joined his Master Mind group.

One task we had in that group was to write every day, no matter what.

I remember the first day I woke up two hours before my 9-5 to write. It was a mix of excitement and dread — I’m not an early-morning person.

Day after day, through the power of routine, waking up became easier. The writing too.

The more I wrote, the more I had things to write.

The more I wrote, the more I found my voice.

The more I wrote, the more I connected to the fire within.

I gave it words. I gave it nuances. I gave it colors. I started to understand myself more:

• why does this matter to me so much?

• what does it mean, to live a life aligned with your core self?

• how can one find one's core self?

• how do we find clarity inside, beyond our parts and ego?

• how do we become a sovereign being?

• how do we strengthen our will?

• what are techniques, modalities, frameworks that help?

• who are people who are modeling this lifestyle?

The list has become endless and is still growing.

I was fanning my fire, and in return, it was growing. And as it did, I became obsessed with these topics.

I now wake up in the morning excited I get to write before my 9-5. I am writing these words on a business trip before I head to work.

The more you fan the fire, the more it grows, the more satisfying and inspiring it is, the more you want to fan it. This is the obsession loop. The gym rats out there reading this will understand.

The obsession loop

The more obsessed I am, the more engaged I am with my thing, the more I create content about it, and the more ideas for content and products I get, the more I can make this my work. You get it: the more time I spend on my obsession, the more my life aligns with it.

Obsession is the bridge between finding your thing and aligning your life with it.

What it takes to keep the fire alive.

Discipline. Dedication.

It wasn’t easy for me to wake up at 6.30 to write. And here’s the thing: it still isn’t. But I do it.

Discipline: take it from someone who thought discipline was an insult; it is possible to change yourself. It takes:

• swearing an oath with yourself, committing to going on this journey

• creating helpful habits (cf: Atomic Habits)

• surrounding yourself with disciplined people

• surrounding yourself with people on the same journey toward discipline

• consume content from people who already live this lifestyle

Dedication: this will come from the momentum you build, from the fanning of the fire. The bliss that comes from aligning your actions with something that feels deeply meaningful to you will lead to dedication. It’s a natural human thing: we are wired to serve a bigger purpose.

In summary, get disciplined, start fanning the fire, feel the energy and satisfaction, let that turn into dedication.

And so, here’s the equation:

Finding the ember (your thing) + fanning it consistently (discipline + dedication) =
aligning your life with your thing.

Is it easy? No.

Does it take you to get out of the victim state? You bet.

Is it easier within a community of like-minded souls on a similar journey? Yes.

Bottom line: If I, who thought discipline and dedication were for gym rats, can do it, so can you.

If I, a girl who thought the world was too big for her, who believed she was incapable and needed a man to support her, can do it, so can you.

If I, a people pleaser who was terrified of making waves can do it, so can you.

Anyone can do it. And to be honest, it’s not rocket science.

All you need to do is take the first step. Surround yourself with the right people. Put yourself in the right routines. And watch your life become the most meaningful thing on earth.

I cheer for you and your journey. You can do it.

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P.S. I’m teaching a 2-hour workshop where I’ll walk you through a practical, repeatable framework to help you get unstuck, reconnect with yourself, and start making decisions that actually align with who you are.

It’s for those who’ve been doing all the self-help things but still feel disconnected and are ready for real tools, real clarity, and real change (without having to sit through another fluffy online course telling you to journal affirmations under a full moon.)

Join the waitlist here — spots will be limited.